on hiatus for another.... three weeks?

okay.. i am back for a very short update..

my blog's dead! that is like really rare of me to leave it

lying around just like that..

anyway, seriously.. i do not have much to update.. other than

my amazing yet regretful experience at Singout 09'

not that I din gain anything from it.. but i wasted a lot of my time

and effort on it when i should have focused on the crisis of my life..

well.. i really took the wrong step this time and went for

PASSION over necessity...

and my studies' are really screwed up now..

i had the worst grades of my life for PRELIMS,

my final school curriculum examinations..

anyway, i am going bald on the 26th april.. haha long time awayyyyyyyyy....

i have so many things to do and accomplish during my long break!!

sing

work (any lobangs?)

possibly.. learn the piano?

and yea.. holiday trips..

(okay i can't think of anything else, what an irony!

i was thinking about the extensive list i would want to do and will

be doing during my longggg-term break)

i have drifted away from sooo many people..

my family inclusive..

my younger bro tells me BYE when i head to my room now..

its like i am entering into another world from the domestic life at home

and it is seen through the innocent eyes of this little bro of mine,

which makes the realism even more true and yet.. harsh..

okay the next time i am here.. i will be blogging about

SINGOUT 09' which is like.... months late?

well.. i have got to share this experience of mine!

BYE FOR NOW...

OH! MOST IMPORTANTLY!!

i sincerely pray and hope that all of you can PRAY for me

that i will be able to do well.. PLEASE!!!!!

i am in a terrible need for a miracle now..

i have never felt that desperate and worried for my academics..

i don't aim for straight a's now..

i just want satisfactory results...

PLEASE!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

last time i am doing this.. BUT PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO SAVE ME

FROM THIS CRISIS!!!!!

wish me all the best and pray for me yea??

and my folks.. do take care!

up till today, i am still able to recall all my

previous relationships..

vividly remembering how much i have cherished them..

perhaps.. i was just a fleeting cloud,

providing the light showers for you, this tall tree..

and after i am done, giving you all that i ever could,

i will just have to drift away.. and you,

will have to then simply wait for another fleeting cloud..

but then again..

here are a month's (probably two) due worth of pics..

anyway, for those who are not aware of it;

I have been participating in a competition,

organised by Music Story

(and took part in its management

process, right till after the Quarter Finals Round)

from March 09' and..

this competition has been taking its toll on me,

affecting my studies, affecting my daily lifestyle,

affecting my sleep, affecting my mood and temper,

affecting my time with my family and friends,

affecting this... affecting that...

its been very, very, extremely demanding..

and I kind of regret joining it, in the first place,

especially when I am having my GCE A' Levels this year..

Well.. its the next competition I joined ever since Teenage Icon 07',

alongside with VJC Musicfest 09'..

and I guess I joined it cos' of my desire to perform on stage again,

since I really miss the feeling of performing.

I have attained that feeling now, and I can't say that I have

totally lost all my nerves on stage, and moreover,

I am also not as good as most singers and performers out there.

and.. I've got some unconstructive criticism here..

just hope to end the competition soon.. really soon..

then I'm going on hiatus..

just like the post-period of Teenage Icon 07', I reckon'

I'm going to miss the feeling once again, in the future.. but yea..

not so soon.. I'm really all worn out

not going to think too much,

having the luck to be in the top 12 admist

of so many great competitors

of Singout 09' is really good enough for me; when

I have long predicted that I will never make it

pass the Semi-Finals round..

these few weeks of stress has been killing me..

7 more days.. let's end it, once and for all..

I am not going to care anymore,

I am fcuking tired

i have soo many things to worry about

soo much that i feel extrememly stressed out..

and the only solution i found?

the ability to manipulate time..

i have so many things to do

so many liabilities to be committed to

so many people to catch up with

i feel... worn out, emotionally..

worrying about this and being troubled over that

I regret joining Singout 09'

too much input of time, effort and money

facing unconstructive criticism

handling the pressure

not wanting to be under-estimated

wanting to give it all

if only i could turn back time..

i would not have to try to find back the momentum

of studying now..

its been a long search and i'm damn - about it..

im pathetic pathetic pathetic

i need to catch up with so many people

i need to, i need to, i need to..

i really treasure my friends and

i despise friends to drift apart..